Whatever you believe will be true for you because you will either create the circumstances that validate your beliefs. Or you will interpret your experiences through your beliefs and they will self-perpetuate themselves.
If you ever sit in one of my classes you’ll hear me say “There are a hundred different beliefs and a hundred different ways. None are the right or perfect way, they are just different ways to understand or experience your world”.
I formed this belief as a child as I observed that my parents had two very different sets of beliefs about how to raise their children and neither would compromise those beliefs. What they did, was decide to raise us according to their beliefs, simultaneously.
As far as I’m concerned this worked for me, I can’t say the same for my brother. But what I gained from it was there is no right or perfect way to do anything, just different ideas. I looked at my mum’s beliefs and saw some good points. I thought about my dad’s beliefs and accepted that he had some good points as well. But I also formed the view that both had some ideas that didn’t really work that well.
It worked for me because it freed me from the limitations of having to find a right and perfect way to do anything. Of course, because I formed the belief that everything is real and possible I attract in people who have a wide variety of beliefs due to the fact that I accept there are a hundred different beliefs and a hundred different ways. In essence, my belief wins – it creates this reality to prove itself. And for the record I’m okay with that!
This brings me to my saying ‘Everything is a sign, Nothing is a sign.’ According to the self-help philosophy there is a strong focus on ‘signs’. We’ve all done it. Something happens and we say to ourselves ‘that’s a sign’ and commit ourselves to a certain process or a certain person. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it creates great challenge. Then we plunge ourselves into trying to make sense of what the sign was for.
Because everything is true according to our beliefs there is a possibility that sometimes there are no signs. They are just random events that need no attention from us.
About now there is a real possibility that your amygdala is freaking out because the driving force of this brain structure is to assess how safe and secure we feel and there’s nothing safe and secure about there being endless possibilities and no right or perfect way to do anything. And this is why we create rules about our beliefs – to create safety.
In my world of empowered realism I would suggest that accepting our brains need for safety is the first step. Next would be to accept that our beliefs are movable, not absolute and definitely not needing to cause a war over. Finally the acceptance of our freedom to choose what works for us and let go of beliefs that don’t create the best in us is the privilege we have as aware, informed and conscious individuals.
So the question is – what beliefs do you have that support you being your best and what ones create limitations? What are you going to do about that?