Even when it comes to our genetics they have found that we can have a gene for a particular trait but the degree to which it influences our lives can vary. For example, the gene for alcoholism doesn’t mean you will become an alcoholic and just because someone is an alcoholic it doesn’t mean they have a stronger expression of the gene. Individual life experiences and more importantly personal choices are as equally influential on the gene expression for alcoholism.
This means that who we are is a combination of nature, nurture, and our personal choices and personality. While our early childhood experiences contribute to our sense of insufficiency, there are influences that appear to be innate in the personality that create a propensity to this mentality.
There are two aspects present in people who express the insufficiency mentality as part of their personality – the first is their inability to recover from heartbreak and the second is a belief that their actions are unforgiveable.
If you read that and thought ‘really, one’s just an emotion and the other is a belief and they can both be transformed’, then you’re not a full blown insufficiency person. You’ll play out aspects in different parts of your life and have moments but it won’t define your existence.
If you read it and agreed that heartbreak and loss is something you don’t to get over and some actions are unforgiveable then you are more prone to insufficiency when it rears its head.
If you read it and thought ‘I’m not like that’ and started thinking negative thoughts about people just like that – stop and think again! There’s every chance that what you think and what you do isn’t congruent. Blaming is a sure sign that what you are judging is something you do as well. The aspect of needing to be special is significant here in the insufficient thinker. Any emotion, thought, or action that is likely to be viewed in a negative light will be disowned and projected onto others.
So what does that mean in real life?
It means that you will try to avoid heartbreak and loss and yet the very actions you take could create the heartbreak you are trying to avoid. Helplessness, powerlessness, co-dependency, confusion, indecision, and feeling like a victim invades the avoiding and the creating stages.
It means that shame will plague you as your self-judgement traps and suffocates you in rules, duty, obligation, and ideals of perfection which you strive for to disconnect from what you believe is unforgiveable. But worse, is how all this filters your interpretations on others actions toward you and further intensifies your helplessness, powerlessness, co-dependency, confusion, indecision, and victimhood.
It means that hypocrisy and deception colour your interactions with others and blind you from seeing yourself clearly, compounding your inability to take responsibility for your choices and actions. When you are held accountable your helplessness, powerlessness, co-dependency, confusion, indecision, and victimhood become exaggerated.
As I cover each aspect of the insufficiency mentality I intend to provide a link to a tapping protocol to assist with it. Having learnt how to create my own video clips, thanks to the amazing Sylv Dadha, I will record a tapping you can follow along with. For this week I will start with a protocol for the themes of heartbreak and being unforgiveable. You will find them on my Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/leonieblackwell/videos If that doesn't work - coz this is all new to me just search for Leonie Blackwell in YouTube and then click on my name and it will take you to my channel.
I have two questions for you. Firstly, how do you process heartbreak and do you think some things are unforgiveable? Secondly, after doing the tapping protocol what shifts did you have?